GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE

SECTION B

AUGUST 5, 1994

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Evenings Out

Living under the all-seeing eye of MTV

Pedro Zamora is the openly-gay CubanAmerican housemate on this season's The Real World, an MTV show in which a group of young people agrees to live together while MTV tapes everything they say and lo. Where previous seasons of the show, set n New York and Los Angeles apartments, included lesbian and gay housemates, the current San Francisco show goes a step further with the addition of Zamora, a nationally-known HIV-positive youth advocate and educator. Freelance writer Daniel Vaillancourt talked with Zamora about the show, the city, family, and the enormous need to make room at the table for our young queer sisters and brothers.

by Daniel Vallaincourt

How did finding out you were HIVpositive at 17 change your life?

The question should be, "How did it not change my life?" It changed everything. It's really hard to express, but it basically changed my whole perspective. Here I was, getting ready to go to college, deciding whether I wanted to move away from my family or attend a college near home. I had all these dreams and expectations, and thought I had 50 or 60 years to accomplish those goals. All of a sudden, I realized I didn'tthat my life would not be that long. It changed everything for me.

Had you come out yet?

Yes. I came out at the age of 14. Who does an HIV-positive teenager turn to?

In Miami, that was one thing that I had a lot of difficulty with. Most of the agencies that were there to help people with AIDS could deal with me going to them and saying, "I'm a person with AIDS and I need help." What they had problems with was the fact that I was 17 years old. There weren't many young people coming out and saying, "I'm HIV positive, I have AIDS."

What are the burning issues for gay HIV-positive youth at the moment?

Access. There's 10,000 other issues, but access is the one. If we don't have access to the system-if we're not a part of the system-then any other thing is unimportant, For most HIV-positive young people, just getting through the door is the biggest issue. We pretty much do not exist in the eyes of the system. We, as young people, are marginalized. We, as gay young people, are marginalized. But as young people who are HIV-positive and have AIDS, we are totally written off the page. We don't exist.

You're talking about the established system of AIDS service organizations in America.

Oh, yes. Definitely. I think if you go across the country, most agencies can deal with people with AIDS. Most agencies can deal with gay and lesbian people. They can deal with people of color. But when [presented] with young people, they really have a hard time dealing. I think things are changing. Certainly, here in California, new

-are

programs such as the one I'm working withYouth Empowerment Servicesdealing solely with HIV-positive young people and their issues. They are educating them, rather than just educating the young people who are HIV-negative. I'm very excited about that.

What do you think is the root cause of ASOS' inability to deal with young positives?

Well, I think it's just a matter of experience. My experience as a young person is very different. The system is based on an adult system. The system is built on the premise that the person who is going to receive the services is strong enough, or articulate enough, to say, "This is what I need. This is what I want." Well, in the case of a lot of young people, that is not the case. So, unless you have a group of people who

are sensitive, who are educated about the issues of young people, it's going to be very hard for young people to get help. Most young people do not have what it takes to say, "This is what's going on in my life and this is what I want."

How are you personally addressing this problem?

One of the benefits that I hope has come out of my going public with the fact that I am HIV-positive is that I've tried to give a voice to those young people who do not have a voice. I feel that every time I come out every time I tell either one person or a thousand people that I am HIV-positive I am changing the system. I am forcing the system to deal with us as young people.

What would you say to HIV-positive youth in cities and towns far from New York, Los Angeles and San Francisco?

I would say, "You're not alone... Un-

fortunately, you're not alone." There are many other young people across the country who are going through the same thing. You always feel like you're the only onethat there's nobody else like you out there. But that's not true.

Changing the subject to MTV's The Real World...

Yes.

How were you chosen?

Well, there were about 25,000 applicants. I sent [MTV] a letter, with a picture, basically telling them why I should be selected for The Real World. I talked about the number of young HIV-positive people, and the fact that we are part of society and part of MTV. And they called me. We then set up the audition process, which took three months.

You've been in San Francisco now for

five months, taping the show. What was the experience like?

It was one of the most intense experiences I've ever been through. At times it was very, very tough. But it was always very intense. Just because of the nature of everything that was going on around us. I mean, we had, at any given moment, two or three cameras following us. And about ten people. The director, the cameraman, the soundman. If it was at night, someone had to hold the lights. It was just very intense. Did MTV have access to you 24 hours a day?

Yes. Every morning, we would call the assistant producer and say "This is what I'm doing today; this is where I'll be tomorrow, next week... And they basically decided who they wanted to follow. We could do whatever we wanted. Sometimes we would do things knowing they couldn't follow. We would go to a certain restaurant, and the

restaurant wouldn't allow the cameras in. It was rare, but sometimes it did happen.

What message do you hope to transmit through your involvement with the show?

As an educator, I have traveled across this country talking to young people. I have spoken about the times when I felt good and had a lot of energy and went out dancing all night. But I couldn't show it to them. They couldn't see it. I have told them about the times I felt like crap and was in bed all day because I didn't have any energy. But again, I couldn't show them. I thought this would be a perfect opportunity to show them everything-that by the time the [last] episode aired, they would have seen me going out all night and coming home at four o'clock in the morning after a party. They would see me hiking, and playing soccer with some of my roommates. They would see me when I

was not feeling very well. They would see me when I was happy and felt great, and they would see me when I was sad. They would see me talking to my roommates about all kinds of things. I thought it would be a great opportunity for them to get to know someone who is HIV-positive or has AIDS in a very intimate way.

Was falling in love in San Francisco the last thing you expected?

Yes, it was. When I came here, I expected to go out and date different people. I wanted to show that a person who is HIV-positive can date all kinds of different people, including people who are negative. And four days later, I went out on a date with Sean, and I've been going out with him ever since. So I certainly did not expect that, no.

Now that the taping is over, where to next?

I'm going back to Miami for a few months, and then I'm moving back to San Francisco.

Does your returning to San Francisco have anything to do with Sean? It has everything to do with Sean. How real is the Pedro Zamora we see on The Real World?

I would say he's as real as anybody could get. The camera captures different images of me. It comes out through what I'm saying and what I feel. And I was extremely honest, all the time, about how I spoke, about those images you are going to see. But it's very, very hard because at any one given moment there's 10,000 thoughts going through my mind at once. Those the camera could never capture. I could only talk about one or two emotions at a time. But it's as real as it gets.

Any sneak previews about what we'll be seeing on upcoming shows?

I think people will be surprised. There are a lot of things that went on that I didn't expect. So, I think a lot of people are going to be surprised.

Will you continue to work on behalf of HIV-positive youth?

I will continue to speak, and I will continue to travel. I'm thinking of going back to school.

too.

So, are you leaving your heart in San Francisco?

(Laughs) Yes

But I'll be back